Herewith my tutor, Carla Rees’s feedback following the submission of my third assignment:
In summary, the feedback has asked me to focus on the following areas before the fourth of my assignments is due for submission:
Carla has made various compositional suggestions throughout the score, which I will look at closely. Specifically:-
a) Change the clef from bar 268 in the piano LH part to avoid ledger lines.
b) Consider the playing range of the clarinets in bar 76 onwards; too high for B-flat clarinet (I already had in mind to position this with E-flat clarinet)
c) Use countermelodies from bar 34 to add interest to the static lines; I like this idea because the texture will need to develop from here.
d) There is a general feeling of ‘stop-start’ in-between sections. Perhaps I could smooth this out more? My tutor identifies from bars 109-111 an example of this, using the final E in the bass in bar 108 and starting the ostinato there giving an overlap. She’s also suggested using crotchets with B-flat in the bass and the E above and then fading out the lower part, with an accel to new tempo, could act as a good transition which would also add tension and maintain emotional engagement.
e) The reprise of material at bar 218 works but I need to change the instrumentation for the ostinato, maybe bassoons and oboes (with the oboe playing the opening theme this could create a memory connection).
f) Could I make more of bar 241? Add a bar of silence? Another point where I have stopped the music completely is at bar 254 and my tutor has suggested that I continue the chord through to where the Dodo section starts.
g) My tutor has suggested that where I have written up to so far makes a good place to conclude a first movement.
h) I need to look back at the themes and the melodic ideas that I have introduced to date. The Alice theme is the obvious one but there will be other motifs introduced that I can re-work and use again. I need to find a balance between developing previous material with the introduction of new music, too.
i) I need to quantify my remarks about the Queen Symphony in my score analysis post.
j) My tutor has suggested that from the indications marked onto my short score to date, I appear to be leaning towards more of a chamber orchestra as opposed to a symphonic setting. Therefore, I need to consider paring down my resources list to a more manageable list.
k) I need to go through and make sure that I have credited my sources within my posts; the YouTube videos I included in my blog post about instrumentation. Confirm the edition of Beethoven’s 5th that I reproduced.
l) Listening to a broader range of instrumental and chamber music as part of my studying of orchestration will help me. I need to develop a greater awareness of how composers over time have combined colours through using different instruments.
I have confirmed back to my tutor that I will take 3 months to complete the remaining composition work (in short score form). This will take me to the 05 October. I will then need to concentrate on getting the score orchestrated, which will probably take at least 2 months if not longer, after which I will only have one tutorial assessment left which will concern itself with the Critical Review.